If I recall correctly, it was probably around my sophomore year in high school that I began thinking seriously about college. I mulled over in my mind the increased coursework load; the all-nighters spent drinking black coffee at Denny’s, scribbling aimlessly in my Shakespeare text; and mostly importantly, the freedom. The freedom to throw down whenever I wanted, knowing that my brothers would be there to catch me.
In reality, most of that was accurate.
But what I failed to realize while these sugar plums were dancing in my head, and according to Toby Keith – freedom isn’t always free.
Thanks in large part to the media, fraternity life seemed flawless. Depicted on television, it appeared to be a group of frivolous guys who patted each other on the backs haughtily, drank a few beers and otherwise spent their time “bonding.”
To my naïve assumption, fraternity life looked royal. Being a frat boy equated to having a platinum American Express – the opportunities for amusement were endless. Even more like a sparkling, infinite credit limit however, when the party ends, it’s time to pay the piper. Behind that pristine façade of pastel Le Tigre polos and Croakies shade retainers lies a deep, dark secret: hazing.
When I joined Kappa Alpha, I was quite aware that fraternity hazing habits were secretly accepted. It happened, but no one spoke of it. That’s because the disgusting institution is a vicious cycle. Brothers don’t talk about it out of fear that they will get caught and pledges don’t speak up out of fear of being de-pledged. It’s a nasty equation that usually reaps dramatic and costly consequences. Unfortunately, the invincible and free frat boy doesn’t deal in consequences. He can only see directly past the line-up. What’s lurking further down the road is usually disastrous.
If hazing is banned and national fraternity headquarters nationwide condemn the practice, why does it still consume so many bright, young futures? While school administrators call the crime what it is, fraternity men have given it a new name – a name that doesn’t pack so much ill connotation. Hazing isn’t part of an underclassmen’s lexicon; it’s simply known as “tradition.”
When I was pledging and studying The Varlet, it was stressed time and again that hazing was prohibited. Imagine my surprise as I was standing in front of a wall, being berated by the very brothers who gave me a bid. Obscenities flew through my ears at rapid speeds. Calisthenics were practiced. Beer runs were made. For something so forbidden, it certainly had its appeal to my brothers. Just like Eve and her fruit, when a higher power tells you not to do something – in this case, school officials – the only way to get it out of your system is to do it anyway. Look what happened to her.
Coincidentally, I came out of the process unscathed, but resented the brothers who had shamed me. Some part of me still does. Largely though, the hatred I felt for those guys went away after I was initiated. I chalked it up to being part of the game and “making me a better man.” Once I made it through ritual, I felt that it was my turn to make someone a man. Following the same path that so many brothers before me had, I started hazing as well. That’s the black beauty of the tradition – no matter how much you hate it when it’s happening to you, the next group must endure the same torment. It’s better to be on the other side.
Yes, it’s better to be on the giving end of hazing from an authoritative stance, but neither side is enviable. Fraternity men across the country are finding that out the hard way.
In February 2005, at California State University Chico, eight Chi Tau fraternity brothers allegedly forced 21-year-old pledge Matthew Carrington to drink five gallons of water, causing death by water intoxication. In 2000, Adrian Heideman, a Pi Kappa Phi pledge at the school, died of alcohol poisoning.
Despite being thrown off campus for a hazing incident that left two students with broken bones, brothers of Texas Lutheran University’s former Kappa Phi Alpha chapter have been charged recently with hazing after a student suffered alcohol poisoning at a party. Nine students and two alumni were arrested.
Sigma Chi, one of the oldest fraternities on the University of Michigan campus, was asked to leave after one of its pledges suffered kidney failure related to hazing, in 2003.
Not withstanding the increasing number of hazing incidents that are continuously occurring, only 44 states in the U.S. have anti-hazing laws. The six states that lack such laws include Alaska, Hawaii, New Mexico, Montana, South Dakota, and Wyoming.
From coast to coast, this “tradition” has run rampant. In the literal sense of the phrase, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Although this tradition is passed on from pledge class to pledge class, there is not one benefit to public humiliation. Being mocked and made a fool of in front of your friends and future brothers, and at their will, doesn’t make anyone a better fraternity man. I learned nothing about the laws of this Order through hazing. I didn’t learn how to be a good brother. I didn’t learn how to treat a woman well. And I certainly didn’t learn how to properly educate the next KAs. The only lesson I learned from late nights spent staring at pledge boards, not allowed to look anyone in their eyes, was how to haze.
The problem that many fraternities have now, after decades of practicing this illicit custom, is they don’t know how to teach their pledges in a constructive manner. Simply educating them from their respective pledge manuals doesn’t suffice. Genuinely being concerned for a brother’s well-being and standing by him when he needs you most isn’t enough for hardcore hazers either. In those twisted minds, the degradation can’t stop until the pledge breaks down. Sometimes, when the pledge breaks down, he can’t be fixed.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Aside from tradition, hazing continues out of laziness and self-loathing. College men bear the weight of a nonsensical competitive need to be better than the next guy, and the only way to accomplish that goal is to exude and abuse the power that has been bestowed upon them. Nothing says “I’m more masculine than you” than insisting that a brother disrobe, with the exception of his underwear, while condiments such as ketchup and mustard are poured on his genitals. Sound unfathomable? Trust me – it’s happened.
Academia has been discussing the demise of fraternities for years. Ironically, like the Greek empires of ancient times, this Greek society is slowly killing itself. Of course, not everyone is a hazer and not all chapters employ hazing as part of its teachings, but there is a familiar standard that when a few fall, the rest come crumbling down behind them.
Which side will you be on?
